So as I met with my triathlon coach at 5am to work on swimming, I felt like a total spaz flailing about the pool. I know my training should be about my journey and improvement... but I still felt like the spaz-ster that people cannot help but stop and stare at in total and utter disbelief. At one point I had to stop before even finishing a 25m length of the pool and stand up and "re-group"...
I think I drank my 96oz of water in the pool this morning. I have to admit that on my way home from the gym at the lovely hour of 6am, I was questioning "what the hell am I doing?" and "what made me think I can do a triathlon?" while my self doubt at that toxic level dissipated once I got home, made small talk with my supporting husband and had a much needed cup of coffee- - I am still "shaken" by my spaz-mo swim style.
My assignment was to watch swimming, in particular Michael Phelps, which I did and can I just say... WOWZA! I think he is really a dolphin... and he has the "eye of the tiger" (that look that intimidates and says to any competitor-do not even think you are in my field and I am going to eat you for a snack!). As I watched his freestyle form from 3 or 5 different camera angles, I am amazed and taken aback by the pure beauty of his form... I am also jealous! I watch again and think, "that looks easy, I can do that" as he precisely executes his strokes and rhythmically moves his core and legs and arms in just the right combination using his body to cut through the water like he is a human "water razor"... so I am excited and thinking, yeah, I can definitely do that and then as the day wears on and now I remember my spaz-mo show at the pool this morning and wonder how I will even make it through the swim in my first sprint triathlon that I have signed up for, paid my registration fee and bought an annual USA Triathlon membership. I think there should be a test before they let someone who swims like me sign up :)
Ok...yes, I am using levity as a tool to calm myself about what I have taken on and I am not a quitter so I will make it though and probably come out doing "average" on the other side but in my current perspective I should show up at the pool next time with a large S on my swimsuit and hey... why not go the extra mile and be super inefficient and throw a cape on to cause drag in the water!
So tomorrow I will hit the pool and try Michael Phelps's beautifully precise, mechanical looking freestyle stroke (no way I am trying his dolphin core/legs-I may be the first woman to drown in a 4' pool!) Perhaps I can talk Jason into videoing me and I will post my star performance... and maybe someday I will have a beautiful stroke and I can look back and laugh... a lilting laugh that only a confident totally together woman can pull off as she knows she is perfect and is only acting modest as to not make the others feel insecure.... dare to dream!
PS: Swim for an hour at 5am, strength train,(back, biceps, and legs) for 50 minutes, and spin for 30 minutes... calories and food intake good, no diet coke today-yeah me! :)
